Shades and Degrees

Possessive was a word that tangled me during college. When we were at our younger age, we tended to posses things we thought that kept things together. Something that made us felt that we had something to fight for. To go deeper, it has something to do with selfishness or self-centeredness, and worst is egotism, they say. On the other side, it is caring and protecting that might lead to too much.

I tried to understand on my own and put myself into the shoes of others. That then, I realized that life is like an ocean. It’s big. And it’s there. But we can’t have it forever even we take, run and hide it to our hands from the world.

I was once a victim of possessiveness during my high school days. Of course, it felt unease, but it was belongingness at the same time. No one will dare to real protect and care in the truest sense without possessing. We can say that we care but are you sure we are?

Realistically, being possessive is not healthy. You’re like being choked until you die. I remember my History 3 class in college that Jose Rizal revolutionized because his country was being too much controlled by Spaniards. That was when he started fighting using his pen and paper against them.

It’s like in every relationship that possessing is a cue of ending a good relation. I admit that once in my life I learned to posses when I was in college, because of that experiences I learned and applied to every person I meet everywhere.

Now, I totally understand that people come and go and it’s so, so normal.  I let go people that need to let go. And, I being me, I’m letting go and moving on. This is moving on the next level, and finding myself to the new one. From this blog, I am telling myself that I am ready to give up everything I built at Aegis. I am ready to resign at anytime from now and face new people. At least now it’s easy because I have valid reasons to quit terms and conditions of the company. Thanks to Aegis PeopleSupport!

It was May 7, 2010 when I was interviewed at Aegis PeopleSupport in Makati. I was interested not because I was really eager to get hired, but because the guy who interviewed me was really nice. Honestly, that guy was my crush. Yes, it was a stupid reason that the guy who initially interviewed me at MOA was the only reason why I died getting into the main office of Aegis. Anyway, I often see the guy in HR now.

It was indeed a birthday gift when I passed the interviews, written exams and final interviews in one whole day, on May 7. The training started on May 11. The training lasted for one month. And fortunately, I went to customer service representative and I stayed for like 7 months. In my seven months in the service, all kinds of feelings of being a newbie were at stake, and everything taught me a lesson. I was the happiest and even one of the bullied. I have found real friends and true ones. I learned and owed them of what I am right now.

Until one of the challenges that I had to overcome faced and dared me, when I was transferred to a different account to become a travel specialist. I had so many questions during those days that I wanted to be explained by my supervisor. And, yes. I was a failure. It was my mistake. A careless one.

Nevertheless, things keep changing than what we thought would linger. Life is even more beautiful after we stood from being fallen. Sometimes, we have to look around and accept our mistake and learn from it. Yes, I’m no longer just the person before. I am happy to know that I have received another gift on my birthday. A top converter for last month is enough for me. Who would have thought? It’s enough that someone I considered as my inspiration patted my shoulder and said, proud. Parang napawi lahat ng paghihirap ko for the entire month. I’ll work for a repeat performance this May.

Happy birthday to me!

(I wrote this on May 7, 2011. I was 1 year old in BPO’s world.)

Naisipan ko lang mag-blog ng seryosong bagay. Ewan ko ba. Sa haba ng panahon, tila ang laki ng pinagbago ko. Sa sobrang laki masyado nang mabilis, di ko masundan.

Malamang di niyo ma-gets ang sinasabi. Sa paraan palang ng sinasabi ko, e parang ako ba ‘to?

Oo, ako ‘to. Si Rohaida Pangcoga na kilala din bilang Kyla.

Saan nga ba nagsimula ang Kyla? Anlayo naman kasi. Hahaha! Malamang baka naibento ko lang.

Noong kabataan ko pa sa paaralan, nakilala ko ang mga matalik kong kaibigan. Bumuo kami noon ng grupo sa skul. Kailangan namin ng pseudo name as a part of the policy. I chose Clio Kyle sa list. Then, they started calling me Kyle, hanggang sa naging Kyla para maging “girl sound” naman daw.

Ayon hanggang ngayon bit-bit ko pa din ang name na yan. Dati kasi nakakatawa lang kasi complete name ko dati, Rohaida May, so people called me May before. Pero parang mas maganda pa din pakinggan ang Kyla. Buti nalang, ‘no?

Anyway, saan na ba ako? May mas gusto pa akong ikuwento e. Wait lang… ano ba un?

Ah, oo! Ilang taon na din ako nagttrabaho sa call center company. Joke lang. Isang taon pa lang. Weird kasi di ko inaakala na tatagal ako. Akala ko ilang months lang. Buti nalang di ganon kaseryoso yung kasabihang Maraming namanatay sa maling akala, kasi malang patay na ako sa akala ko. Katawa lang.

Di ko din inisip na makakapasok ako sa isang kompanya sa Makati galing probinsya. Akalain mo yun?

Isang taon at mahigit apat na buwan na ako sa Aegis PeopleSupport. Well, sa iba wala lang, pero para saakin… Amazing yun!

Ang daming nagbago simula nong naiitindihan ko ang buhay call center agent. Hindi nga madali. Parang buhay lang din tulad ng sa’yo, alam kong iba-iba tayo ng pagkatao at trabaho pero generally it’s all the same facing the life. At ‘di totoo yung mga iniisip ng ibang tao sa call center na lahat nag-inom at nag-sisigarilyo. Kainis lang minsan na impresyon ng ibang tao.

Anyway, may ups and downs din talaga. Hindi nakakapagtaka kung ilang beses ko nang pinlano na mag-resign. Siguro di ko pa masyado iniisip kung gaano kaimportante ang trabaho ngayon, kaya minsan ambilis kong umayaw. Sabi nga ng tatay ko, easy learner daw ako once nagkamali. Pero hello? Dapat bang lagi akong magkamali para matuto? I don’t think, it’s a compliment.

May isang bagay lang na nagpapataob sa lahat ng dahilan kung bakit magreresign na ako. Yung bagay na yun di ko sigurado kung iyon ba talaga yun. That’s what I’m still trying to figure out.

Siguro ang mga tao. Yung mga tao na nag-turo sayo, kasi utang na loob mo yun. Di mo mababayaran kong aalis ka nalang. Ang masakit doon, habang tumatagal ka, lalo kang nadidiin.

Isipin mo ha? Pa’no kung wala kang mahanap na ibang trabaho? O, kung mayroon man, makakaadjust ka ba sakanila? Panibagong pagpapakilala at pag-tatanggap na naman. Mahirap yun kaya.

I mean, di naman siguro mahirap pag-nandyan na. Pero sometimes, we are afraid to change what we are used to. Aaminin ko takot talaga ako sa change. Minsan tatahimik nalang ako kasi ayoko talaga na may magbago. Minsan pag-sanay ako sa isang tao tapos biglang nag-bago nagseselos ako bigla.

Lagi sakin sinasabi ng Supervisor ko, “change is constant, live for it”. Sakit ‘no? Ganon talaga.

The bottom line is, love yung dahilan. Kasi we love things around, that’s why we don’t want to change it. Sabi nga nila “Love conquers all”. Chos.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako magtatagal pero basta mag-enjoy nalang tayo!

Ang simula ng pag-babago na una kong natutunan sa trabaho ko ay… ito na ikukuwento na…

Lipatan ng account na very normal lang na mangyari.

Dati akong service representative sa isang travel account. Madalas irate callers ang kausap ko dahil sa gusto nilang mangyari sa reservation na di nila magawa. Lahat dapat ng policy alam mo.

To make it short, pabilisan ng pagsagot at pagresolve sa concern or problem ng customers about their travel reservations na legal na process.

I think limang buwan ako nag-adjust ng bongga while in service. Ang hirap, nakakatakot sa una. Pero habang tumatagal medyo gamay na. Ganon nalang di ba? Sa una mahirap, sa kalaunan kahit pikitan mo pa. Hahaha! Pero minsan sa una lang masarap kasi parang pa-ulit ulit lang.

Madami akong natutunan sa account na yun. Lalo na sa mga tao sa paligid ko. Ang dami kung dapat na ginawa at di na dapat ginawa. Pero naging Masaya naman ako talaga. Lalo na sa mga team buildings.

Hanggang one day akala ko kataposan ko na noon sa office nang nabalitaan ko nalang na ililipat ako sa Sales na dati pa lang ayoko talaga. Tinaga ko na sa bato na, ‘to na ang hudyat ng pagbabalik skuwela ko para kumuha ng masteral degree.

Pero sabi ng mga taong malalapit sa’kin, bakit di ko muna daw i-try. Kung di mo gusto then maybe it’s not yours to find something else.

Then sinubukan ko kasi may gusto din akong patunayan na kaya ko ding matuto sa mga mali ko.

 To be continued nalang…

I wrote this 10 months old in a call center company. Now, I’m 1 year and 10 months old in the same company.